TOOLBAG TUESDAY

It’s always hilarious to hear the excuses guys come up with when they are caught red-handed cheating on their girlfriends.

Of course, no one can top Greg, the guy who told his girlfriend that the woman he was cheating on her with was a job recruiter. (LOL LOL). But this guy Tom is a close second.

Tom dated my friend Lindsey for three years, maybe even longer. Lindsey knew that Tom was a flirt with every female he met, but after several lengthy trips out of town, she snooped on his phone and computer and saw that he was actively cheating on her using every possible online platform.

Tom had reached out to a 20-year-old from Italy through Match.com and messaged her requesting to see pictures of her with her top off. And offered to fly her to New York.

He had OK Cupid profile, a Tinder profile, profiles on sites she hadn’t even heard of. And then: OMG.

According to his emails, he slept with the host of an Air BnB where he stayed the previous month.

OMG.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While he was sleeping with Lindsey!!!

SO gross.

Lindsey, who can only express her disgust in all caps elaborates further: 

“NOT TO MENTION I SAW HIS INTERNET TABS AND SEARCH HISTORY WAS FULL OF BACKPAGE ESCORT ADS, CRAIGSLIST SWINGERS ADS, CRAIGSLIST WOMEN 4 MEN WANTING SIDE DICK, ETC. ETC. - you get it. Ew. Ew. Ew.”

Ugh

Lindsey didn’t know what to do. She was horrified and humiliated.

She left Tom’s house without a confrontation and brewed about it for two days, ignoring his calls and texts.

Then she made the phone call.

Lindsey said her opening line was, “I know exactly who you are.” But before she could give him her prepared speech, she said Tom started laughing.

Laughing.

“He asks if I am referring to the items he ‘planted’ in his phone for me to find,” Lindsey said.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHA

That’s the best he could come up with in two days?

THAT HE “PLANTED” “FAKE” EVIDENCE OF HIM ASKING A 20-YEAR-OLD FROM ITALY TO SEND HIM A TOPLESS PHOTO?

Well. If so, he certainly committed to the mission.

LOL

And even if Tom wasn't completely full of shit, since when is “planting” “fake” “evidence” of you cheating on your girlfriend a good life lesson?

It’s not.

And obviously, it was all a lie.

Lindsey called him out on it, saying OBVIOUSLY these weren’t fake accounts on fake sites, these were very REAL messages from a very REAL Tom to very REAL girls asking to see their boobs and SERIOUSLY, TOM? CRAIG’S LIST ESCORTS??

…Also, maybe she'll just go ahead and report that Air BnB host.

My question is: did he really think she was that stupid?

Do guys really think their girlfriends are that stupid???

(Were any of these women JOB RECRUITERS?!?!??)

Ugh.

FIRED.

-Jenny